I’ve never been a huge fan of Peeps, but lately I’ve come to love their recent branding and marketing ploys. Upon my first visit to their website, I was suddenly face-to-face with this assertive full-sized statement (it was actually just a cute lil’ graphic) on my screen:

The Cookie Crisp: “Cookies for Breakfast?!” campaign suddenly pales in comparison

I soon found out that Peeps come in all new bizarre flavors. Have I been out of touch for that long?! Just to name a few, here are some of the mysterious flavors: Pancakes & Syrup, Blue Raspberry, Fruit Punch, Party Cake, and much more! I have to admit, they were wise to use the chicks as the weird flavor vessels rather than the bunnies. Everyone knows that the chicks are the personality winners over the bunnies because their dead eyes and deflated droopy “beaks” stare back at you while you consume their friends.

The array of flavors in this taste test

Let’s begin this Peeps-tasting journey and maybe you can use it as a guide to select your next favorite flavor…or just use it as a precautionary tale.

Pancakes & Syrup

These brought back fond memories of when my Grandma would pick us up Egg McMuffins. At the time, I foolishly despised those dry throat-choking things and opted for their pancakes instead.

Back then, McDonald’s pancakes were packaged in a thin styrofoam briefcase. By the time you arrived home, you had some nice sweaty cold pancakes to look forward to. I peeled open the provided plastic syrup container and drenched the pancakes with some mouth-watering room temperature faux maple liquid. The sweaty pancakes gleefully absorbed the cold syrup and my mouth became full of overly sweet disappointment. That in a nutshell is how I can describe the taste and texture of these Pancakes & Syrup Peeps. Cold, disappointing McDonald’s pancakes. But hey, at least throwback McDonald’s gets a shoutout! I’m also glad those McDonald’s Styrofoam containers of the early ‘90s are a thing of the past, much like what this Peeps flavor should be.

The taste also reminds me of that ‘90s Waffle Crisp cereal.

On a positive note, it wasn’t as terrible as I initially expected! They are definitely worth a try so that you can be equipped with a fun conversation starter during awkward situations.

Sour Watermelon

Upon first opening the bag, I was greeted with the nostalgic scent of Now and Laters mixed with hints of watermelon-flavored Jolly Ranchers.

However, the taste was not as strong as the smell (and this is a good thing, as the smell was indeed STRONG).

To make matters even more fun, I was surprised by a creative little visual. While the Peeps on the outside were green, the inside was bright pink. Wow they had me fooled, for a second I thought I was eating real fruit with that clever visual! Nice try Peeps…

Blue Raspberry

This one greeted me with a strong blue raspberry scent that was also reminiscent of Jolly Ranchers. The Peeps are coated with a teeth-buzzing blue color that was possibly derived from an array of since-banned food dyes of the ‘60s. Hm, maybe keep the kiddos from eating these in their Easter Sunday best; they will stain saliva, pillow cases, a cat, or anything they can get their hands on. Sneezing is discouraged too, just trust me on this one.

Wow! On first bite, the taste is a very pleasant blue raspberry flavor, true to its description. I can compare the taste to those blue raspberry candy canes that were left behind after everyone took the better multicolored cherry-flavored ones.

Cotton Candy

Wow. I thought I was going to have power through this one as I despise fake cotton candy flavors, but this was actually my favorite flavor! These had a pleasant usual cotton candy scent and its soft pink outside was carefully sprinkled with a fun blue sprinkle shrapnel. This was another pleasantly surprising flavor that wasn’t as strong as anticipated.

The overall taste matched exactly like cotton candy and the soft airy texture of the Peep definitely added to an authentic cotton candy-eating experience. Well done, Peeps!

Party Cake

The smell of Funfetti Icing fills a 2x2 foot vicinity as I open this next bag of Peeps. Will I be in-store for an overly sweet concoction or will they have nailed it just right? Turns out, the Party Cake flavor all adorned in its decorative colorful shards of glass sprinkles had a nice light flavor in comparison to the maple syrup kind. It wasn’t overly sweet, but I could still do without it. If you’re a fan of birthday cake flavors, this one’s for you!

Chocolate Caramel

Here’s a Peep partially dipped in mediocre chocolate with a caramel filling. Would this be another dose of sugar overload? Perhaps, but again, I thought it was a pleasant taste without the sweetness overpowering it. The crunch texture of the chocolate layer surprised me with the chewy Peep mixed with caramel filling to make for a variety of textures. Even the creepy tiny Peeps head was filled with caramel! I think this would make a decadent dessert I can serve at an ironic-themed party.

Vanilla Crème

The Vanilla Crème was the last in line for the Peeps taste test. In hindsight, I don’t think it was such a good idea to leave one of the richest Peeps for last…it was just too much by then. The Vanilla Crème definitely earned its prestigious-sounding title- it was as rich and decadent in all of its vanilla creme-ness that Peeps could possibly pull off.

Whoa wait- want MORE vanilla crème? Well how about some rich vanilla frosting-like substance laced on the bottom of the Peep! While I appreciated the interesting texture of the hardened vanilla crunch against the marshmallow, I still couldn’t get over the looming sugar coma feeling. I thought this Peep had a stronger party cake flavor than the actual Party Cake Peeps. However, after finishing off this Peep, I pretty much surpassed my Peeps tolerance level. Luckily it was the last strange flavor to try. So I say no thanks to this Peeps flavor. I’m 90% sure this is a biased opinion because I was on Peeps-overload by then, but I would skip this one unless you crave overpowering sweetness and want to feel your veins vibrate.

Goodnight sugar particles left all over my table. Goodnight stomach as I hold you in a cradle. Goodnight Peeps.

Well there you have it, a full array of this year’s release of outlandish Peeps flavors. There are still many other weird flavors of this season to try, but I just couldn’t find them. I’d like to thank my husband and my friend Adriana for going on this Peeps-tasting journey with me and sacrificing their Monday night and stable stomachs. Enjoy!